What are we hiding?

Something strange happened to me recently and I think you might benefit from it too.

But, let me start at the beginning.

You probably already know, that I spent the first half of my life striving to be a professional basketball player. I enjoyed a lot of success but at a cost. As I fought my way to the top, I became hyper-competitive, ruthless and hardened. My heart became cold. I felt I needed to be like that to win. I was wrong.

It took many years, and many, many hours of breathing, meditation, contemplation, cold dips, mugs of ceremonial cacao and much more to open my heart back up. To help me feel open, loving and kind again.

So, when my four children started playing sport, I hide basketball from them. I didn’t want them to experience what I had. I gave them loads of opportunities to try all types of sport. But, basketball and my past playing it, remained hidden.

I was afraid.

I was afraid I would become an over-bearing monster, pushing my child to become the greatest basketball player to ever live (whether they wanted that or not).

I certainly didn’t want that, so basketball remained hidden.

Then, strange things started to happen. In my parent’s house, my children found an old newspaper article about me playing basketball for Ireland. Then, they found an old basketball. They started playing a bit. That part of me still remained hidden though.

They started playing a lot.

Eventually, I couldn’t hide any more.

I found it was a joy to share playing basketball with them. I found I could teach them things without being that over-bearing monster I feared (although I did have to stop myself a few times!) I found it so enjoyable to watch them practise, and play, with their teams.

Now, the strangest thing:

As I write this email to you, I’m sitting in my car waiting for my youngest son (he’s just gone 13). He was invited to train with the Irish basketball academy squad. He was thrilled. He’ll get a taste of what it’s like to prepare to play for Ireland. Who knows what happens next for him. The most important thing is he’s loving it and learning invaluable lessons along the way.  

I now realise that to be the best basketball player, or best footballer, or chess player, or musician, or artist, or business person, we don’t need to harden our hearts. We can compete, we can win (or lose) and also be kind. Also, be loving. My son is an example of that: a ferocious competitor and a kind person.

My children found what I was trying to hide. By brining it out into the light, it has enriched all our lives.

So, what about you? Now, it’s your turn.

What things are you hiding?

What things have you pushed down into the dark corners?

How would you feel if they were dragged out into the light?

It might be time to try?

You never know where it might take you. I certainly didn’t.

Advanced Breathwork: I’ve had some exceptionally deep, and profound, experiences during breathing sessions. There is a threshold we cross, during advanced breathwork, that allows us to really let go and explore our inner universe. I love those experiences and now I want to share them with you. Join me for an advanced breathwork session online on Sunday 18 February. Learn more.

Cacao Circle: you know how much I enjoy the nourishing, calming benefits of ceremonial cacao. This Friday morning, in Dublin, join Josie for the Cacao Circle: a morning of sumptuous cacao, deep relaxation, restorative meditation and more. Learn more.

Free recorded breathing session (and it’s my favourite one): I wanted to finish this email with a little gift for you. I often record guided breathing sessions for my app and I just wanted to send you a link to my favourite one (for free). It’s called “The Calming Sea” and it’s 16 minutes of pure bliss. Listen now.